The others are peanuts compared to this one. This is the toughie.
In fact, I’m pretty close to convinced that I am going to have to reprogram myself and my relationship with stillness and quiet and breathing before I’m going to make any meaningful progress with this.
I am graceful under pressure. I cope very, very well. I have a strong action bias, a weakened aversion to pain, robust problem-solving skills, and a true gift for perspective.
But the better you cope, the harder it is to get around to fixing the underlying problem. My problem is that I do, as a function of being, that I can hardly conceive of how to be without doing. And to be honest, the functionality of being without doing is not self-evident. In other words, there’s no clear reason why that would be a good skill to have, and I tend to be pragmatic.
So why am I spending my time on this?
To be honest, I’m not completely sure. There seems to be a couple aspects that have potential. First of all, it’s a powerful reset device, that is, a very good method of challenging assumptions.
Second, nature abhors a vacuum, and creating and maintaining a void seems to practically dare the universe to knock your socks off by producing something really fucking awesome to put in that space. Which you do, for a while, I think, and then you take the space back. The space feels crucial to me, and I’m not quite sure why. More meditation is needed, I guess.